bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
