You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
