We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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