I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
