i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
