If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
