she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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