If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
