This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Pooping to opera.
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