oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
