It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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