I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
