did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
