She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
