what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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