there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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