I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
