She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
