i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
