I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
