o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
