he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
