Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
