i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
