If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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