Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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