Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
