i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
