I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
