ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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