question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
