she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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