YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
