i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
