I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
