My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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