you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
