I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
