i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
