YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
