dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
