Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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