Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
