He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
