Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
