fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
