My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
