goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can't trust your balls anymore.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
