There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize