i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
