We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
